Como Nunca Ficar sem Assunto (8 Dicas para desenvolver uma conversa)

Como Nunca Ficar sem Assunto (8 Dicas para desenvolver uma conversa)


“You know when you’re talking to
a stranger or even when you’re talking to someone you’re interested in
and suddenly you mind goes blank? And you don’t know what to say? – This is the video that’ll solve
this problem once and for all. – Hello, I’m Antonio from the channel Evolution
and today I’ll give you 8 tips that’ll help you never run out of things to say
in a conversation. – Tip number 1: Get rid
of your filters. – You probably don’t run out of things
to say when you’re talking to your family or to your closest friends. “Then why does this happen when
you’re talking to a stranger or to someone you find attractive? – Maybe it’s because you want
to impress this person or because you want to look smart
or to say something interesting. “Just to make it clear… I’m a
very interesting person. ” – Basically, you’re looking to make
a certain impression. “And that’s exactly why you
run out of things to say. Because you start filtering
everything you think. – You think of something to say, you judge
that what you thought is not good enough, and you discard what you thought. – And you do this mentally several times
until you “run out of things to say”. And that’s where that phrase comes from:
– “I don’t know what to say… I have nothing to talk about. ” “Yes, you have a something to say.” You just need to stop filtering yourself. Get rid of your filters. – What you say doesn’t need
to be worthy of an Oscar. – Any subject is good enough
to carry on a conversation. Whatever you think, you speak. Doesn’t matter if it’s random. “I like turtles.” – Give yourself permission to say
whatever you feel like saying, without self-judging for
the results. – This will give the impression that
you’re a spontaneous and friendly person. – This tip alone will solve 99% of
the problem of your mind “going blank”. “But I know you still want to learn
practical ways to develop a conversation. There you go. – Tip number 2: Replace questions
with statements. – That old way of asking,
– “How old are you? Where you’re from? What do you do?” – It’s a great way to kill
a conversation. It’s the famous “interview mode.” – This is the kind of conversation that every
person has had thousands of times in her life. “And believe me… it has
become repetitive.” – Which means that if you ask a lot
of questions, you end up being labeled as the boring person… who asks
a lot of boring questions. – The other side of this is that questions
won’t allow the conversation to develop. – “How old are you? Twenty. – “Where you are from? Sao Paulo. – “What do you do? I’m a student.” – If you replace your questions with
statements, you create opportunities for the conversation to develop. You can say:
– “You look like someone born in a big city “. – Instead of asking where
the person is from. – Or you can say:
“You look like a lawyer.” – Instead of asking what
the person does for a living. – In the end, the person will end up
saying what you wanted to know, even though you didn’t ask,
and she’ll ask you why do you think what you said. – This gives you an opportunity
to develop the topic. “Blah, blah, blah, blah… Blah.” – Another tip when it comes to questions is not giving a straight answer to
the questions people ask you. At least not initially. – You first give a playful answer,
and only then you give the true answer. – “What do you do for a living?” – “I’m a professional stripper…
Oh, I’m kidding. I’m actually an engineer. ” – This will prevent people’s questions
from making the conversation boring. – Tip number 3:
Use open-ended questions. – I just said that questions
won’t necessarily contribute to the development
of an interesting conversation. – However, asking the right questions
can be quite useful. – Closed questions are questions that can
be answered with a YES, with a NO or even with a few words.
For example… – “You’ve traveled to Europe… Did you like it there? Yes.” – This is the kind of question that doesn’t
leave space for the person to develop her answer. – And that’s why you might end up getting
a monosyllabic response. – On the other hand, an open-ended question can’t
be answered with a YES or NO, and the person end up having to develop her answer.
For example… – “You’ve traveled to Europe… How was your experience going there?” “It was sensational.
The food there is fantastic… Needless to say, the sights were amazing.” – Tip number 4: Make associations. “This is an improvisational technique,
in which you take a word of what the person told you, and use it
to develop the conversation. – So, if for example, the person told you:
“I like juice”… you can take the word “I”, the word “Like” or the
word “Juice” to continue the conversation. – For example …
Yesterday “I” went to a very nice bar. They have the best live music in town. – Or… I “like” to read comic books. It’s my favorite hobby. – Or… The best “juice” I’ve
ever had in my life was the passion fruit juice my mother made.
There is no other like it. – By doing this you basically have
infinite subjects to talk about. You just need to practice
your improvisation skills. “Water… life comes from it.
To quench thirst, you just have to drink it.” – Tip number 5: Make observations. – If your mind goes blank,
you can always make a comment about the environment you are in. – You can also comment on the
events happening around you, like the band that’s playing,
a fight that’s happening or a person wearing flashy clothes. – Lastly, you can make observations
about the person you’re talking to. “You can talk about her hair, her clothes,
her shoes, her tattoo, her accessories or even her accent. – “What about this name tattoo?” “It’s my boyfriend’s name. Oh, ok.” – Tip number 6: Talk about
your interests. – If you’re like me and likes
comic books and superheroes, this tip may seem counterintuitive. “After all, you might think you’ll look
like a fool if you talk about those things. – But the truth is, regardless
if you’re interested in soccer or in philosophy or even in cartoons… – People tend to be interested in
the way you talk about a certain topic, and not about the topic itself. – We have a type of neuron in the brain
called mirror neuron. – Its function is to “mirror” in us
other people’s emotions. – It achieves that by making us
adopt the same facial expressions and the same body language
as the other person. – That’s why when someone smiles at you
on the street, you tend to smile back. – And that’s why if you stay close to
someone who is stressed out, you tend to get stressed too. – Basically, the mirror neuron is responsible
for causing an involuntary contagion of emotions among people. – This means that if you’re talking
about something that interests you, you’ll get excited about what you’re saying. – And this will get the other person
interested in what you’re saying. Even if she’s not interested in
the same things you are. – Tip number 7: It’s Better to be
interested than to be interesting. – If someone is talking to you, don’t just wait for your turn to speak. – Really pay attention and listen
to what the other person is saying. Show interest by asking open-ended
questions about what she says. – Continuing the conversation based
on what the other person just said is a great way to develop a conversation. – But always do this by connecting what
you say to the person you’re talking to. – Seeking to know more about
her experience and her opinion about what she just said. Human beings are
self-centered animals. “Which means no one will ever walk
away from a conversation thinking… “I’ve talked about myself
the whole time. That’s a shame. ” – Everyone’s favorite subject
is themselves. Everybody loves to talk about their
problems, their interests and their experiences. – Ths creates an unlimited source
of topics for a conversation. You just need to be interested in
knowing more about the other person’s life. – Tip number 8: Practice makes perfect. “Conversation is a skill. And just like any other skill, you
get better at it the more you practice. – Start creating the habit of talking
to people in the bank queue, or in the movie queue, or even
in the supermarket. – When you want to get better at a sport
or at a musical instrument, for example, you have to practice it. Your conversation skill is no different. – Start practicing talking
to random people whenever you have the opportunity. – As time goes by, you’ll
get better at starting and developing conversations. – However, if you’ve already put all these
tips into practice, but the person is still not contributing to the conversation. Remember: a conversation is
a two-way street. “Which means a conversation needs
at least two people to exist. – In other words, if you’ve already done your part
but the other person doesn’t contribute to the topic, it’s better to recognize that perhaps
this person is not interested in talking to you and move on. – Tell me in the comment section below
if these tips were helpful to you. – If you liked this video,
press the like button share it with a friend
and subscribe to the channel. – This was today’s video. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. And I’ll see you next time.

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