EVERY KFC EVER
[Music] [Shayne] Hi, uh… [Shayne] What is your chicken seasoned with? [Kimmy] Oh, it’s the blend of 11 different herbs and spices, but it’s really kind of a secret, [Kimmy] so I can’t really reveal… [Shayne] Is it salt? [Kimmy] Dammit! [Shayne] Every KFC Ever [Ian] America asked and we delivered. Y’all liked how crispy our extra crispy chicken is. So we’re bringing you something new! [Ian] The Crispy Fried Batter Bucket! *licks his mouth* [Ian] You might be thinking to yourself, “But Colonel, there ain’t no chicken in this here bucket!”, [Ian] and while that’s technically true, [Ian] don’t you worry now because we promise we are committed to brutally kill a chicken for every bucket we sell. [Ian] It’s finger-lickin’ good! *licks his fingers* [Ian] MMMMMM! [Courtney] Hi, can I get the famous bowl – extra famous. [Music] [Ian] Why are there so many KFC Taco Bells? [Damien] I know right? It’s like so random. [Courtney] Not really, I mean tacos are the chickens of the burger world, so… [Courtney] And, chickens are like the tacos of the animal kingdom, so… [Ian and Damien] What? [Courney] Actually, it’s just a corporate ploy to save two dying brands and carry less overhead. [Ian] Haha, tight. [Damien] Can I get a fried chicken taco? *Squishes them together* [Courtney] All comes out the same end anyways, am I right boys? [Ian] Yeah! Our feet! [Courtney] *sighs* [Ian] Mmm! Smells like chicken murder. [Courtney] Some places only pick the best chickens to serve… [Courtney] but we believe those chickens deserve to live, which is why we only make our chicken out of the worst chickens in the world. [Ominous Music] [Damien] Hey! Cluck-you! [Courtney] They’re finger-lickin’ good! [Shayne] *Clucks like a chicken* [Ian] Also, why is KFC’s mascot a colonel? [Damien] Oh, yeah, like, what war did he fight in? The burger wars? [Ian] Hahahah… [Courtney] HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Courtney] You watch your mouth! He was an American hero! Got a purple heart for bravery in the great Kentucky chicken war of 1645! [Courtney] CHANGED THE METHODS OF KENTUCKY FRIED WARFARE! SINGLE-HANDEDLY KILLED HUNDREDS OF NAZIS WITH A SINGLE BLADE! [Courtney] AND NOTHING BUT A BULLET PROOF VEST FOR HIS LITTLE TOUCHE! [Colonel Shayne] Woah got me in the butt! That’s all right! [Courtney] And saved an entire chicken coop… [Colonel Shayne] Come on boys ! Time to fly this coop! You’re free! [Colonel Shayne] WOOOOOOOO! *Silence* [Ian] But then… [Ian] afterwards he cooked and ate all the chickens, right? [Courtney] Oh, yeah! As quickly as possible. [Damien] Wait, how were there Nazis in 1645? [Courtney] I use their buckets as a laundry basket. [Shayne] Hey, what does KFC even stand for? [Kimmy] Kidney Failure Capital! [Colonel Kimmey] Actually, it’s Kisses From Colonel! [Damien] Wrong! It stands for Killing Fictitious Children! [Ian] You’re all wrong! It stands for Kinky Foot Cuddles… [Courtney] Come on, guys! It’s Keep F*cking the Chicken y’all! [Everybody] Ohhhhhhhhh, yeah…. [Courtney] There you go, there you go. [Shayne] Boy I’m feeling greasy after that. [Commercial] *Sizzlin’ chicken* *Fly buzzing* *Crispy crunch* [Ian] *Sighs* *Everyone having a good time* *Fly buzzing* [Ian] HUHHH, HUHHHHH, HAHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Shayne] I’d like to double down please. [Damien] You know what man, this is actually not that bad. [Ian] Yeah… [Kimmy] *Makes slurping sound* [Ian] Ohhhhhh… [Kimmy] It’s finger-lickin’ good! [Kimmy] You gonna take another bite? [Ian] …Not right now… [Kimmy] Okay… [Shayne] Why, why would you lie? [Kimmy] That’s how I was gonna get the job… they said, “Lie Harry, lie…” [Shayne] I mean, I just knew it was salt, uh eh, it was obviously salt… [Kimmy] My iguana died today and… [Shayne] Your iguana died? [Kimmy] Yeah! [Shayne] Oh, wow, I did- [Kimmy] Rufus! [Ian] The Crispy Fried Batter Bucket! Brian Merino captioned this awesome Smosh video. Check out my Instagram brian_.merino [Courtney] Finger lickin’ good! [Ian] It’s finger lickin’ good mother f*ckers! [Courtney] The’re finger f*cking-licking good. [Shayne] Uh, I think I’m gonna go get Carl’s jr… [Colonel Kimmy] I’ll go with you… [Damien] I’m gonna lock the door… [Shayne] What? [Ian] I’m gonna go lube your feet. [Shayne] How many employees do you guys have? [Damien] Oh, we’re not open. [Courtney] Oh, I don’t work here… [Courtney] GUYS! Smosh Summer Games: Apocalypse is here! Click this box to watch [Courtney] the first competition: Punishment Zombie Shootout! Team Mushroom Clout, babyyyyy! Brian Merino captioned this video of Every [Blank] Ever. Check out my Instagram brian_.merino It’s fun making captions for you guys, so I hope you enjoy! Check out other Smosh videos!