Fans Predict Search Suggestions in ‘Well, Google My Noodle’

Fans Predict Search Suggestions in ‘Well, Google My Noodle’


I want to talk about
something today. It’s changed the world forever. I’m talking about Google. Once upon a time, before Al Gore
invented the internet, whenever we had a question, we
had to open something called an encyclopedia. Encyclopedias were books full
of information– let me back up. Books are a magazine
that’s thicker. I should explain that. Magazines are things that
are in your dentist’s office. They’re blogs that you
hold in your hands. Anyway, nowadays,
all you got to do is like, beep, beep, badoop,
boop, boop, boop, boop. And then Google will
tell you the answer. Sometimes, it tries to the
question that you asked, which gave me an idea. It’s a new game. We’ve never tried it. So we’ll see how it goes. It’s called Well
Google My Noodle. Who’s who? I’m Hannah. I’m Haley. Hi, Hannah. Where do you live? What do you do? I live in Riverside. And I’m a student. I’m a college student. All right. And you are? I’m Haley. I’m from Nebraska. And I’m an ER nurse. So– Oh, good for you. Thank you. [APPLAUSE] Yeah! Yeah! All right. Here’s how this game works. You’re going to have to
use your noodle to guess what Google is going to say. I’ll show you the
first few words. And then you’re going
to have to guess one of the Google suggestions. If you get one
correct, I will award you points based
on how I’m feeling. If you don’t hear the
buzzer of doom, that is. All right, we’re going
to go back and forth until Andy starts panicking
about time and says, that’s it, that’s it. All right, so we will
go with Hannah first. And your Google search
is “is it bad to?” What will Google predict
that you’re searching for? “Tell my boyfriend I
like someone else?” All right. That’s a good one. That’s a good guess. I’m just going to
go ahead and say you wouldn’t have to Google that. The answer would
be, yes, it would be bad to tell your boyfriend
you like someone else. But let’s see number three. “Is it bad to hold your sneeze?” Number two, “is it
bad to swallow gum?” Number one, “is it
bad to eat at night?” [BUZZER] That is minus 400 points. [LAUGHTER] Haley, what will Google
predict you’re searching for. “Is my house”– “Is my house smaller
than your house?” [LAUGHTER] Probably. Yes, it is. Yes! [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] It is! I guess we’ll have
to accept that. Let’s see what the third one is. “Is my house bugged?” Paranoid people out there. Number two, “is
my house haunted?” I get that. You’d want to know that. And number one, “is my
house making me sick?” [BUZZER] All right, you asked
a ridiculous question. The answer– That’s my bad. –minus 2000 points. All right, we’re
in the negative. Let’s try to get in
the positive, ladies. OK. Hannah. “Do dogs” what? A thing people saying? “Do dogs”– “think I’m pretty?” [LAUGHTER] All right, I’m just
going to award you. That’s 10,000
points right there, just because that’s hilarious. Do dogs think I’m pretty? All right, let’s take
a look at number three. “Do dogs smile?” Number two, “do
dogs go to heaven?” Number one, “do dogs see color?” OK, and not up there is
“do dogs think I’m pretty.” But still, it’s a good question. So let’s go to Haley. Yes. “Why do cats?” What do you think people– they would guess that
you’re going to Google? “Why do cats”– “Knock everything over?” Why do they? Well, hm. Because it’s fun. Let’s see what number three is. “Why do cats hate water?” Yeah, they don’t like
water, unless they’re drinking from a faucet. And then they enjoy that. Number two, “why do
cats like boxes?” It’s fun, to play in. Number one, “why do cats knead?” The whole kneading of– like that. You know why they do that? Because it reminds them
of when they were kittens. And they do that to
get their mother’s milk from the little teat. And– [LAUGHTER] So when they relax, they
go back to that memory of doing that when they were
getting milk from their mother. So when they do that,
they’re very happy. Just know that. All right, points,
you get plus– Because they do
knock things over. And I understand that. Plus 8,000 points. All right. All right, Hannah,
“is it possible to?” “Is it possible to–” “Floss with one hand?” You know, it is. Cause they make those
little mini things that you can use now. Minus 15,000 points. Dang it. That’s OK. Minus 15,000 points. Because they make those things. And– all right. Had you looked up flossing
before you came to the show today, you would know that. Number three is “is it
possible to live forever?” Number two, “is it
impossible to grow taller?” I’m going to say no. Number one, “is it possible
to have black eyes?” [DINGING] That means there is no winner. And yet, you’re both winners. You’re both getting
brand new iPads. [APPLAUSE] Now, please give
it up for tWitch.

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