Why is counting calories bad? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

Why is counting calories bad? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton


Hey everybody. Happy Wednesday. And since it’s Wednesday
I’m on the website katimorton.com And I have been on there and I have
answered some of your questions already. And then I am also on youtube. So if you asked your questions
on yesterday’s video. I don’t know why I do that. Yesterday’s. That’s not where it even, I
think it shows below. If you’re looking on the thing. But anyways. If you asked your questions
below yesterday’s video, I have answered some of those as well. And if any of you, I know there are some questions on
there that I already have videos about. So if you are concerned. And you’re like, ‘Man I’ve asked this question
twice and Kati hasn’t answered it.’ I encourage all of you. Go on youtube, put a key word, Let’s say it’s like ‘first appointment’,
or ‘EMDR therapy’, And then my name. And see if it comes up. Because chances are,
I have a lot of videos. And I probably have answered it. And whenever I do these FAQ’s. I know there’s multiple questions. I’ve tagged the specific
parts of the question, Like the key words. So that then people can find them. Like you. If you’re wondering. Okay, so lets get crack a lacking. First question says, ‘Hey Kati, I was wondering why counting
your calories is a bad thing,’ ‘If you’re doing it to make sure you
don’t under eat or over eat.’ ‘It makes me feel better to know that
I’m eating enough but not too much.’ ‘I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for all that you do.’ Now I thought that this
was a good question. And it also got a lot of thumbs up. Which is something that I have told many
of you on twitter, if you can like it. If below on youtube you can give
things a thumbs up. There are ways to show and comment, And let me know that it’s another
question that many of you have. So those are all ways
that you can do that. And this one got a lot of those. Now my thoughts on counting calories, Are, in the early stages of our recovery. It’s okay, and I get that this
person, they’re saying like, Making sure I’m not eating too much
but I’m not eating too little. But I would, as we progress, I’m trying to choose my words
wisely, as you can tell. As we progress through recovery. I do not believe that it’s healthy for us
to consistently have to count calories. Because as we all know, There are places and times and things. And it’s not really reliable. And we never know. And I want all of you, This is what I want for all of you so
badly who struggle with eating issues. Is to be able to close your eyes. And listen to your body. What is it telling you? Is it hungry? Is it full? Do maybe we need to sit for a minute
because our emotions are high, And then see how we feel? I want you all to have that ability. Because believe it or not, We’re born with it. And it’s something that our body
is more than able to do. Now obviously in recovery at the beginning
stages that can be really difficult. And it may not, we may not
have the ability to do that. But it is something we can do. And so that is why I don’t really think
counting calories is a good thing at all. It’s good at the beginning. But it’s not a lifestyle. It’s not something that
we should be doing. I shouldn’t be out to dinner with
my husband, whom I love. Spending time chatting, thinking how many
calories are in this fetachini alfredo. ‘Because I don’t know, and.’ Then I’m not present. I’m not communicating with other people. And holidays are coming up and we never
know how people made things. And then, I have many clients who are struggling, With this very thought that I’m
talking about right now. Because we can’t count them. And then we freak out. And then we have a lot of anxiety. And cause panic attacks. And cause us to not want to
attend certain events. And so there are things that we can do, That I have talked about in other videos, To prepare for situations like that. But that’s just another example
of why counting calories, Is not a long, a good long term plan. Okay. And if you don’t agree,
that’s fine. You can leave you comments below. But those are my thoughts on it. And that’s why I don’t really, I do not
encourage my clients to do it. So, that’s that. Okay, question number two, ‘Hey Kati, why does it make me angry
when people tell me things like,’ ‘ ‘You’re looking healthier’, or ‘It’s
great that you’re seeking help’, etc.’ ‘I have a few mental health issues.’ ‘Depression, PTSD, and
an eating disorder.’ ‘And it really annoys me when
my therapist or other people,’ ‘Comment on my actions and appearance.’ ‘I feel like I am portraying a different image
than what’s actually going on inside my head.’ ‘Love and appreciate your videos. Thanks.’ You’re very welcome. I agree that I don’t
think it’s appropriate. And I actually in groups
and family groups, I make it very clear that we are never
to comment on the way people look. To say they look ‘good’ or ‘healthy’,
or ‘you’re looking so much better’. Because our eating disorder takes that
information and turns it in to like a million, I call that a ‘complisult’. It’s a compliment with a
insult in the back end. The insult is what our brain does to it. It turns that, what they
meant as a nice thing, Into a thousand different
ways to put us down. And, they don’t understand
that we have that filter. So that’s really why, Let me make sure I’m
answering the question. ‘Why does it make me angry?’ So that’s why that tends
to make you angry. But at the other side of kind of what
I think your main question is, Is that it feels like you’re
almost like faking it. Like you’re not as sick. You don’t look as sick as you are. And a lot of people struggle with that. Like not looking the part of what
we know is going on in here. And, honestly, That’s part of that negative voice. And the fact that that negative
voice runs our life all the time. Is what leads us to feeling so angry. Because it’s upset. Because we’re getting help. And we’re looking healthier,
and better. And it can’t allow us to absorb that. And accept that as, ‘I’m so proud of you.
You’re amazing and strong.’ ‘I know how hard this is,
but you’re still working on it.’ Instead it turns it into, you know, ‘I’m not, I guess I’m not as
sick as I thought I was.’ Or you know, ‘I just don’t look as sick as
I am. And maybe I shouldn’t be getting help.’ It turns it into all of this bullshit. And so I would encourage you to
do some negative thinking logs, About those very comments. So, if someone says to you, ‘It’s great that you’re seeking help.’ What automatically comes up in your mind. And what are we going to do to talk
back to it in a positive way? I challenge each of you. If you find yourself getting really
really frustrated with comments like this. Know that they don’t mean them that way. And we need to find ways to argue back. If you have to pretend
it’s me talking at it. Where I would say
something to the effect of, ‘I am strong.’ Like I just said, ‘I am so strong. I am working on
this. I am proud of myself.’ ‘Look at all of the work I have done.
I know how hard this is.’ Whatever. If you need to pretend that it’s me. Pretend that it’s me. But talk back. Don’t let those voices
ruin the good times. And the wonderful work. And all of the support that
you have around you. People noticing all of the positive
changes you’re making. Don’t let it ruin that. Okay, question number three, ‘Hey Kati, I have been struggling with
depression, anxiety and self harm,’ ‘Since I was 13. I’m turning 19 soon.’ ‘Which makes me realise that
I have ‘lost’ pretty much,’ ‘All of my teenage years
to mental illness.’ ‘Because all I was trying to do
at the time was functioning.’ ‘I’m better now thanks to
medication and therapy.’ ‘But I can’t cope with the fact that I
have totally wasted my teenage years.’ ‘Is this a common problem, and
what should I do about it?’ Now this got a lot of likes as well. And it’s also just a good question. I hear this from a lot of clients. Whether it’s teenage years. It’s my twenties. It’s my youth. It’s my school,
my college experience. I have a client right now that’s
really struggling with, ‘Losing her college experience’. I would encourage you to change the
way you think about this. Now I know that that’s really difficult. But just like I said in
the question before, Like, talking back to that voice. Because you didn’t lose
your teenage years. And there is nothing to say that we can’t
‘act’ like a teenager when we’re not a teenager. I don’t have to act like I’m 31. I can go be goofy with my
girlfriends at Disney Land. And get, you know, Minnie ears and
have slurpies and hotdogs and churros, And just have a good time. And be a total dorky thirteen year old. In my head. No one can take that from you. Nothing has been taken from you. You haven’t wasted anything. We get to be whoever we want to be, Whenever we want to be it. We can have fun. We can be serious. I can be an adult. Like I do on video. I can be very serious and very
adult-like, kind of. And, you know, I can be professional. But I can also be a goofy friend. And I can also act, you know, Really young. Really old. I can goof around with little kids. And toddlers. Nothing is taken. So I would encourage you to change
the way that you think about this. And the way you tell yourself
about your process. Instead of letting the negativity run
it over and say ‘They’re lost years’, Say ‘I learnt so much about
myself during those years.’ ‘I’m a better person because
of all of that effort.’ ‘I understand now, and I recognise
when I am struggling.’ ‘And I know how to reach out for help.’ Change the way that we talk to ourselves. Not as like, At the core of mental health issues. That can help so many of us. Just noticing what goes on in our head. And thinking,
‘That’s some negative bullshit.’ ‘And I’m not going to do it today.
I’m going to be positive today.’ ‘I’m going to be rose coloured
glasses. Everything’s amazing.’ And we have the mental ability to do that. I know it’s hard. And it doesn’t come automatically. But with a little work, we can really change
the way that we think about our life And what situation we are in right now. Okay. I hope that helps. And if any of you have tips and
tricks about that, let us know. Okay. Now the journal topic. And I have many. And I will save those for future ones. Because sometimes I don’t get any. And it’s like, you know, Feast or famine. I get a bunch or none. So I have one from yesterday
that I saved for today. And then, you know, I’ve
had them all day on here. That I will save for other days. So, this says, ‘Here is a journal topic
for anyone who has anxiety.’ ‘I do this for short term problems,
and long term problems.’ ‘Think about something
that makes you anxious.’ ‘Like a first meeting with a therapist.’ ‘Write the best case scenario,’ ‘Now write down the worst case scenario.’ ‘And the most likely scenario.’ ‘You’ll realise that most
likely it’s not all bad.’ ‘And it can calm you down a bit. Enjoy.’ And this is from Gabby
from fudge perfection. Thank you Gabby for that. And I thought that was really cool. And it’s kind of going back to
what I was just talking about. The fact that we have the ability to kind
of change the way we think about things. And if we take some time and slow it down. And think, ‘What’s the worst
thing that can happen?’ Which I find myself doing that sometimes, When I get worried or stressed
or I have an interview or something. I’m like, ‘What’s the worst
that could happen?’ ‘I don’t get it. Well I didn’t have that
before anyway. And I was just fine.’ So, finding ways to talk yourself into a
more positive outlook and reduce anxiety, Thinking about worst case. Most likely. Best case. Can help us feel like we have all of
the information, and it will be okay. So thank you so much for
sharing that Gabby. I love you all. I’ll be on twitter tomorrow. So make sure ask you ask your questions. You never know when I’ll be on looking. And use the
#KatiFAQ Because that’s how I find them on there. I’ll see you then. Bye! Subtitles by the Amara.org community

34 comments

  • Today's and yesterday's video really helped me a lot and the questions that you talked about were/are really relevant for me. I just want to say thank you for that.
    Whenever I watch a new video of yours, I never want it to end and I sometimes rewatch them, because I'm sad that I have to wait for a new one 😉

  • Hey Kati,
    I always feel depressed/anxious for no apparent reason and it's really bugging me. Is it normal? I would mention it to my councilor but she's the type of person who always expects there to be a trigger, when half the time there isn't. Am I doing something wrong here? And advice on this? Thanks x

  • Hi Kati, I am in the middle of a relapse from my eating disorder, but the difference this time around is that I had a baby almost two years ago while I was in recovery. My doctor told me that with how quickly my eating disorder has progressed, if I don't commit to treatment she will have to call child protective services. Is this really something she could do? I have made the decision to try recovery again, but I don't want to be constantly worrying that I will lose my child if I don't recover "perfectly". Thank you so much, I love what you do.

  • I have to check out your workbooks!

  • Thankyou, I still have problems counting calories. I can't seem to stop the habit. Have you done more videos on this?

  • The answer to the last question has made my day. I'm currently 26 and have only just seemed help despite having mental health issues all my life. I also don't even remember before I was 14. So I struggle constantly with feeling like I've "lost" so much of my life. Thank you for giving me a new way to see it. 🙂

  • I think counting calories makes someone think more about food than other things in life. Also its so linked to weight loss. So much better to focus on being healthy. I counted calories when I just began recovering from anorexia but 3 years on I rarely think about them..makes for a much calmer mind. I think counting calories can so easily become an obsession.

  • I felt like I lost out on fun at university..but then I remember all the special moments. Might be different from the norm but things like breakthroughs in therapy, enjoying the icecream for the first time in ages with friends, daring to go swimming…I think we can look at other people's lives through rose tinted glasses sometimes.. In short, I practise being grateful.

  • Kati, I love you! You cheered me up!

  • This was one of your best videos!!
    You have such a gift with people. And you can see the passion and care u have. Thankyou so much ur videos are amazing and so helpful xxx

  • The second question helped for me kati as in you awnsering it as I get so angry when people tell me I look healthier or better as I take as people saying that I have put on weight which to me is a bad thing! Thankyou kati your amazing and I love your videos!

  • I really liked these questions too 😀 love your work Kati x

  • Wasted youth?  Yeah, we can spend a lot of time regretting the things we didn't do or the places we might not get to.  Rather than worry whether I'm going to make it to my destination, I try to recognize that it is making the journey that matters.

  • can we talk in pvt?

  • Thank you so much I really needed to hear the answer to question 2.

  • You shouldn't have to sit down and wonder "what emotions am I feeling" or take 10 minutes to try to figure out what your body is telling you. All my friends and family DO NOT do that. They eat when want to and stop when they want to. Before my Ed I ate with out thinking out it, that's something that il never have back. Counting calories is extremely disordered in my opinion, but these mind twisting " am I hungry, am I full" bs sucks too.

  • Hey Kati my school are having this thing on the last day of school were we go back to registration for the last hour on the last day my tutor has organised a thing were we bring in food this is scaring me because I think people with judge me for not eating but if I do eat I won't feel happy I am trying to recover for my ED but I am building up to eating normally again

  • Wow, you are so good at your profession! Thanks for the great videos!

  • I understand that compliment/insult paradox, even though I don't have an eating disorder. Like when someone says, "You look good today"… So I normally don't look good? lol

  • I've been following you for a while now and there's a (off-topic) question I just have to ask now. What is that thing on the wall behind you?? Maybe I'm weird but I just can't figure it out, haha!

  • I needed this video right now. <3

  • This video really touched me today….why this one of yours in particular I don't know, but it was just what I needed.  I'm sending you a big virtual hug.  Thanks so much for all you do!

  • 13-20 I call my "lost years" I don't know what I learned/accomplished those years, but at age 20 I did a lot of catching up and a lot of enjoying being alive! 

  • It's my 21st birthday on Tuesday and I just got out of the hospital on Monday and everyone in the hospital told me (droctor and nurses) that I shouldn't drink alcohol on my birthday. What's the big deal about drinking and and mess.

  • Cherry Blossom 13

    One thing I'm still wondering is why is being a picky eater a bad thing! For as long as I can remember I don't eat certain foods because I hate the taste of it.

  • Viewing Sunshine

    did you personally ever deal with any sort of mental illness? Kati

  • Aw Kati…you are too lovely. This may be my favourite video you've done 🙂

  • mariella Sabrina

    4:30 so true.. and even the stupid Snickers quote "Eat a snickers.." a friend said to me last week turned in my mind into "Look at you, you've already gained weight, you're not that skinny anymore, you're lying and must eat junk anyways.." (so disappointing because she's the person who knows about my problems and usually listens and understands)

  • What i noticed quite early on in my ed recovery was that i absolutely needed to stop wanting people to worry about me. It's fine if they care about me, but i need to stop wanting them worried. That's holding me back from getting better, because I need to learn to trust for people not to leave me once I am not worrisome anymore.

  • FuzzyRainbowUnicorn1406

    My issue with counting calories is that it is a quantifiable reason to restrict. If I know how many calories I am eating I am more likely to eat less.

  • Caitlin Woodvine

    Hi Kati!Appreciate you and your videos so much.I'm curious if you could help.I have been doing recovery (unsuccessfully) for 4/5years after an anorexia diagnosis.I'm weight restored (probably higher end of healthy bmi but I'm not sure)I've cycled through anorexia/bulimia/binge eating/compulsive exercise and orthorexia. I naturally lean toward restriction, sometimes for six months sometimes for two weeks but it always ends in binge eating and sometimes purging and always over exercising. HOWEVER; I have reached the point where I have quit veganism, I incorporate all food groups and my exercise is balanced, but I keep periodically binge eating. Sometimes I purge but I'm trying to not. My binge eating will last for 5-10days straight and I rarely leave bed when this happens. I realised when i am "normal" and trying to "intuitively eat" I'm barely hitting 1500cals. (I'm also 23yrs old and 5'9 and active). I've tried to count calories so I know I'm getting enough but feel as though it's also counter productive as I'm way too focused on food and worry about deviating outside of planned food etc. Do you have any advice? I DO APOLOGISE FOR THE LENGTHY COMMENT!!Thanks again for all your kindness Cait x

  • People try not to comment on my appearance, but sometimes my parents can't help but tell me I look healthy or I look like I'm not eating enough. My boyfriend has no idea how to interact with me during relapses so he tells me I'm too skinny a lot, it's not his fault or anyone else who makes comments but sometimes people don't have the restraint to keep their mouths shut.

  • I need to count calories or Im too afraid to eat. When Im cutting weight its more horrible. I under eat if I do not count calories. I also overeat to the point of obesity. Its very boring.

  • I have anorexia and have for a long while. I am somewhat conflicted with whether or not I want to gain weight.

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